#003: How to Say No Without Saying No (and Get More Prospects to Say Yes)

Learn how to convert dead-end conversations into new sales.

Sean M. Lyden

May 08, 2023

“He who has learned to disagree without being disagreeable has discovered the most valuable secret of negotiation.”

― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It

I submitted a proposal to a prospect referred to us by a long-time client.

Their reply via email: “We think you’re the best fit, but would you consider reducing your fee [by over 40%]?”

Ouch.

What would have been your response?

I said no.

But I did it in a way that kept the conversation open.

And they approved the project at the full price an hour later.

I used an approach I learned from Chris Voss’ must-read book on negotiation, Never Split the Difference.

It’s called “Say no without saying no,” and I break it down for you in today’s Systematic Selling Newsletter.

Preview

Welcome

Welcome to Systematic Selling, a newsletter for entrepreneurs who are still responsible for driving sales but wish to grow out of that role ASAP.

Grow

Here’s what you can expect to learn in today’s issue:

I’ll show you how to fortify the following Sales System(s):

System 6: Proposal

(Get up to speed on all 10 Sales Systems of the Systematic Selling Framework here.)

You’ll learn how to:

Convert dead-end conversations into new sales
Set boundaries that lead to healthy customer relationships
Systematize the art of “saying no without saying no.”

See This Week’s Assignment at the bottom of this email to put what you learned today into immediate action.

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Keeping Emotions in Check

When asked to cut your price, how do you tend to react?

Most of us do one of two things:

1. Get offended. “What? No way! If these people don’t value and respect what we offer, we can move on.”

Or,

2. Panic. “Ugh. I hate this. But we won't get the business if we don’t cut our price.”

I felt offended and cringed at the prospect’s request to cut our fee. We are a premium service. So, price sensitivity is a red flag. I would typically have said no, cut the ties completely, and moved on.

But this was a referral from a great client. I needed a more delicate, diplomatic approach.

That’s when I decided to try Voss’ idea.

I began with empathy to put myself in the prospect’s shoes, which helped diffuse my negative emotions toward the prospect.

"She's not trying to offend me—she's doing her job. She's looking to get the maximum value for the best possible price. Wouldn’t I do the same thing?"

But I also resolved to protect my pricing integrity. I couldn't justify lowering my price and still feel like the deal was a win-win.

I wasn’t interested in splitting the difference. I had already given my best price—the one I was willing to accept.

Declining the Offer

So, what was my play?

How did I “say no without saying no”?

I responded graciously but said it wouldn’t make good business sense for me to accept her offer. I also provided her with an alternative vendor who might be able to help her:

Hi [Prospect],
Thank you very much for your quick response.
I understand completely. Unfortunately, with our current load and the amount of work this project would require for us to do an excellent job for you, I wouldn’t be able to justify a lower investment. I’m sure you understand.
One option that might be able to help (and I’ve referred people to) is: [link to vendor]. I’ll try to think through anyone else in my network who might be able to help, as well.
It was an absolute pleasure meeting you, and I look forward to keeping in touch.
Thank you for the privilege to serve you with my proposal.
My best,
Sean

Holding Firm

I received an immediate reply asking me if I would consider a higher offer (but still 30% lower than my proposal).

Here’s my response, again striking a gracious tone and providing the rationale for my price:

Hi [Prospect],
Thank you.
I really appreciate you reaching out to me on this and wanting to work with me.
I’ve reviewed the project scope again to see how we might be able to help. But here’s my challenge:
Typically, for this type of project and scope, we would charge [higher than the proposed fee]. This is because it takes a lot of research and work on our end to [achieve the prospect’s objective].
However, in this case, I already priced the project lower than usual for two key reasons:
1. You were referred to me by a great long-time client.
2. You provided us with all your initial materials, which is very helpful for accelerating our team’s learning curve.
Since we would also need to shift other client projects around to hit your target deadline, I can’t justify further reducing our fee. I’m sure you understand.
If we can make the [originally proposed fee] work, let me know, and we'll get rolling.
If this is out of budget range, I completely understand.
Thank you again.
Gratefully,
Sean

Closing the Deal

Within 10 minutes, she approved the project for the full price and processed the 50% deposit.

Now, let’s recap. When you break down my two responses above, here are the steps I followed to “say no without saying no”?

Step 1: Begin with empathy: Put yourself in the prospect’s shoes.

Step 2: Be positive and gracious.

Step 3: Provide an alternative option or a rationale behind your offer.

Step 4: Leave no doubt: You’re declining the offer.

Step 5: Leave the door open: “If we can make the [originally proposed fee] work, let me know, and we'll get rolling.”

This Week’s Assignment

1. Get a copy of Never Split the Difference if you don’t have one. If you’ve already read it, this book is worth putting on your annual re-read cycle. You’ll learn something new every time.

2. Reflect on last week. Were there any situations in which you said yes when you wished you had said no?

3. Debrief: How would you address that scenario today, applying what you’ve learned about "saying no without saying no”?

Whenever you’re ready, here are 3 ways I can help you:

1. Follow me on LinkedIn for daily content that empowers you to conquer your sales goals and build a thriving business.

2. Share your biggest sales challenge holding back your business growth. Reply to this email with your question, and I might address your challenge in a future issue of Systematic Selling. Together, we'll help you and others in our community overcome obstacles and achieve success.

3. Explore personalized 1:1 coaching tailored to your unique sales challenges. If you're ready to transform your business, email me at sean@lydencommunications.com to request a call. We'll discuss your needs and my availability, and determine if I'm the right fit to help you break through barriers and reach your goals.

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